Tea and crumpets with Sir Francis Light.

Official records indicate that Francis Light was baptised on 15th December 1740 in an odd sounding place in Suffolk, making the founder of Penang Island approxiamately 271 years old today, if he didn't kick the proverbial bucket on 25th November 1794. Apparently he succumbed to malaria. Upon closer inspection of the tributary sign installed at the entrance of this Protestant cemetary, it might also be known as 'jungle fever'. I chuckled at the notion of King Louie, Baloo and Mowgli dancing around with a bunch of apes.

Besides being the founder of the Britih Colony of Penang, Light was also known for reviving a French outpost somewhere in Thailand. Whilst reviving ailing outposts may not be much of a feat, but in his time there he managed to warn Phuket Island of an impending Burmese attack, which pretty much saved it from being overrun by.... raging Burmese. Light's time in Thailand actually taught him to read and 'light' (Editor's Note: Hahaha) in several languages, including Malay and Siamese (if you please).

More importantly, he successfully leased the island of Penang from the Sultan Abdullah of Kedah and he managed this by promising the Sultan military aid. Stories say, in addition, Light was also given a bona fide princess of Kedah to sweeten the deal. Clearly one of the earliest indications of the birth of the Sarong Party Girl, a plague which will continue to haunt us until today.

Light served as the Superintendant of the British colony of Penang until his death from the rumored 'jungle fever'. Any speculation of the nature of this 'jungle fever' originating from Kedah womenfolk is ultimately unfounded but not uncommon. After all, the local SPGs are still killing caucasians today. Have you ever been to Qba, Westin Hotel on a Friday night?

This playa did have about 6 kids with a broad by the name of Martina Rozells. Records never indicated that they were married or anything. So how do ya explain 6 bastards by some strange Portugese woman? The strange irony? It was because of religion. She was Catholic and Light's employers, the East India Company, were bigotted Protestants. Predicting a violent protest, Light decided to keep mum about it but later left everything he had to the Catholic broad.

Anyways, I was in town sometime in November last year so I decided to drop by and holla out at my white boy. Apparently he was in good company.

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